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Funny Cocktail Napkins, Beverage Napkins, Hilarious Quotes, Quips Napkins

These brilliantly colored funny beverage napkins are available in 20 count beverage gift boxes. Packaged in clear acetate boxes and sealed with gold stribbon. (Minimum order of 6 per item style).

Our dealers can order these great imported napkins via our online store or the faxable order form.
Individuals wishing to purchase these can find retail stores here.

Click a quip napkin for larger image and more details. Press 'N' for next image or 'P' for previous.

Cocktail Napkins - Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. Cocktail Napkins - Beer - The reason I get up every afternoon. Cocktail Napkins - Booze destroys brain cells, but I'm too smart anyway. Cocktail Napkins - Don't be so picky... I wasn't. Cocktail Napkins - Don't judge people by their relatives. Cocktail Napkins - Don't treat me any different than you would the QUEEN. Cocktail Napkins - Everyone said I could be what I wanted. So I became a DRUNK. Cocktail Napkins - Everytime you open your mouth some IDIOT starts talking. Cocktail Napkins - Girls just want to have EVERYTHING!! Cocktail Napkins - I need someone really bad. Are you really bad? Cocktail Napkins - I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. Cocktail Napkins - Losing a husband can be hard: In my case it was almost impossible. Cocktail Napkins - Make yourself at home, clean my kitchen. Cocktail Napkins - Men are like roses... watch out for the pricks. Cocktail Napkins - My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her (or something like that). Cocktail Napkins - One day BIG BUTTS will be in style again. Cocktail Napkins - BEER ME!! Cocktail Napkins - What part of Princess don't you understand! Cocktail Napkins - Sarcasm is my gift. Cocktail Napkins - The only domestic thing about me is I own this house. Cocktail Napkins - The shortest sentence "I am". The longest sentence "I do". Cocktail Napkins - To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential. Cocktail Napkins - Treat me like an angel and I'll be your little devil. Cocktail Napkins - Vendi, Vidi, Visa - I cam, I saw, I bought. Cocktail Napkins - Private Bar - No trespassing unless you have really big boobs. Cocktail Napkins - Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? Cocktail Napkins - Without Family ALCOHOL wouldn't be necessary. Cocktail Napkins - Would you like a Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa? Cocktail Napkins - Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grow up. Cocktail Napkins - I am like fine wine... Aged, Sophisticated and Full-bodied. Cocktail Napkins - I feel better after I wine a little. Cocktail Napkins - I either get what I want, or I change my mind. Cocktail Napkins - If you think everything is going great, then obviously you overlooked something. Cocktail Napkins - I'm not a Brat! I'm Not! I'm Not! I'm Not! Cocktail Napkins - I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun! Cocktail Napkins - You look fabulous! Who did it and how much! Cocktail Napkins - Life is short, so let's drink the Good Wine Now. Cocktail Napkins - I only drink when I'm with people or alone. Cocktail Napkins - The drink selection consist of two choices, take it or leave it. Cocktail Napkins - You had me at Merlot. Cocktail Napkins - Wine is fine... but liquor is quicker. Cocktail Napkins - Being invited back depends on you knowing when to leave. Cocktail Napkins - I'm not losing my hair, I'm getting more head. Cocktail Napkins - You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Cocktail Napkins - I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. Cocktail Napkins - It's always 5:00 somewhere! Cocktail Napkins - If you can't be kind have the decency to be vague. Cocktail Napkins - Wine improves with age. The older I get the more I like it. Cocktail Napkins - Cork the whine! Cocktail Napkins - Ignorance is bliss!! Why aren't you happy? Funny Napkins - If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning. Cocktail Napkins - I like to cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food. Cocktail Napkins - Old age ain't for sissies. Cocktail Napkins - Don't confuse my tolerance with hospitality. Cocktail Napkins - Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Cocktail Napkins - If you can't say anything good about someone, sit next to me. Hilarious Napkins - WARNING: Consumption of Alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. Cocktail Napkins - There are two theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. Cocktail Napkins - If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light? Cocktail Napkins - Coffee, chocolate, men...some things are just better rich. Cocktail Napkins - You say b!tch like it's a bad thing. Cocktail Napkins - I'm still hot - it just comes in flashes now. Cocktail Napkins - Well, this day was a total waste of make-up. Cocktail Napkins - I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all of the preservatives I can get. Cocktail Napkins - Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. Cocktail Napkins - You have to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink. Cocktail Napkins - Please move your wine glass, it's blocking the view of my mother of the year award. Cocktail Napkins - I may not be totally perfect. But parts of me are excellent. Cocktail Napkins - Put your big girl panties on and deal with it. Cocktail Napkins - Of course I love you! Now get me a drink. Cocktail Napkins - Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener. Cocktail Napkins - To save time, let's just assume I know everything. Cocktail Napkins - Oh, I heard you - I just don't care. Cocktail Napkins - I'm happy -- don't ruin it. Cocktail Napkins - Chaos, panic & disorder -- my work here is done. Cocktail Napkins - You can't make everyone happy, so concentrate on me. Cocktail Napkins - Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Cocktail Napkins - You can't scare me. I have children. Cocktail Napkins - It's a party. No dieting allowed. Cocktail Napkins - No rich man is ugly. Cocktail Napkins - Do you want to talk to the man in charge or to the woman who knows what's going on? Cocktail Napkins - The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does. Cocktail Napkins - Saw it... wanted it... had a fit... got it! Cocktail Napkins - I know I have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them. Cocktail Napkins - Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out, but I can usually shut her up with cookies. Cocktail Napkins - You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. Cocktail Napkins - Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. Cocktail Napkins - Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate. Cocktail Napkins - I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire. Cocktail Napkins - Go braless, it pulls the wrinkles out of your face. Cocktail Napkins - You Go Girl and take those tacky shoes with you. Cocktail Napkins - I haven't had my coffee yet don't make me kill you. Cocktail Napkins - Darn right I'm good in bed... I can sleep for days. Cocktail Napkins - If it's not one thing, it's your Mother. Cocktail Napkins - Born Free, now I'm expensive. Cocktail Napkins - I'm not a nag, I'm a motivational speaker. Cocktail Napkins - I smile because I have no idea what's going on. Cocktail Napkins - I'm a Queen because my pantyhose say I am. Cocktail Napkins - Cocktail Napkins - I enjoy the little things in life - shoes, handbags and jewelry. Cocktail Napkins - Cocktail Napkins - I'm not a housewife, but I'm desperate. Cocktail Napkins - I gave him the skinniest years of my life. Cocktail Napkins - "I Do" doesn't mean I will do everything. Cocktail Napkins - Friends welcome, relatives by appointment. Cocktail Napkins - Stupidity got us into this mess... why can't it get us out? Cocktail Napkins - I don't repeat gossip so listen carefully. Cocktail Napkins - When men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called Witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.

NOTE: The quips cocktail napkin colors viewed online may vary from the actual product colors due to variances in computer displays.

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